Becoming Maxon and Bowan's Mommy

In becoming Max's mom (lovely name of my liltle ol' blog), I tried to do everything right.   I read every book, walked miles a week, took the vitamins, ate healthy, sang and read to my belly-and I am pretty sure that with the sureness of Tyson and I and the peaceful environment we had created, THESE were the reasons to Max's calmness and perfection.  We had him on a routine and we stuck to it.  Some said that it was because Tyson and I were good people and made great parents.  Maybe, but I think Max allowed us to be good parents.  He was easy.  Naturally we decided to have another.

We thought that the spell would be broken and we would get this horror of a child.  My pregnancy would be awful, he would be a premie, not a sleeper, would make us question our everyday parental decisions.  But Bowan was just as perfect as Max.  Amazing pregnancy, happy baby, nice and large---GREAT eater.  Happy Blake's now were FOUR!

I had a friend tell me, during my pregnancy with Bo, that with one child, you still have your life.  With two, your life becomes all of theirs.  I had suddenly had gone from a mom of one to a mom of two big Blake boys.  Two sets of eyes looking up at me for every need.  Anxiety set in and while I knew nothing could stop it, I quickly became unsure of myself.  With Tyson working at night, how would I manage the night routine?  How would I go back to work nursing/pumping/keeping focused on my job?  How would we be able to afford two appetites/schedules/needs?  And date night.....are those gone too? How in the hell would we find a sitter for two?!

Flash forward to the present and well, we manage.  It is not easy, but it is manageable.  My limits have been tested and pushed to the furthest extent.  I didn't realize how much patience I have (and don't have).  My life is totally consumed with the two boys and their well-being.  I am constantly teaching, constantly talking, constantly feeding and constantly cleaning.

I scare myself sometimes with just how much sleep I DO NOT get.  And yet, I fully function the next day. Reality slapped me in the face yesterday morning as I stumbled out of bed and met my doe-eyed three year old in the hallway.  Blankie in one hand, his wet training pants in the other, I met his stare and realized just how shocking I looked.  Hair disheveled, baby in my arms, unlatched from breast (now fully exposed). Blindly or rather unconsciously, I turned and fumbled down the stairs and even though the dog was whining and prancing around to be let outside, I made my most precious cocktail of the day-COFFEE.  Once a luxury, now a necessity.  I cannot get the cobwebs out of brain or the fuzziness of my night without my cup o' joe.

But this is my life now. A mommy of Max and Bo. In becoming their mother, I have learned a few things: when it rains it pours, yelling is NOT an option, showers will come later (or tomorrow), they are only this small for such a short amount of time, mommy friends are priceless, and lastly-my husband is an amazing creature.  Without him, I could not be the mother I am and the mother I am becoming.....

Growing, Climbing and PLAYING!

**Written August 2013**
At one month old Bowan was a learning experience for our Blake family.  It took this month for all of us to get on to a schedule that fit a newborn.  We had to change our lifestyle and focus, but even though newborns require a lot of attention, Bo seemed to fit ever so perfectly in our routine. 

Max with his preschool, swim, soccer and nature classes, is full of activity.  People say that the terrible twos are awful.  “They” lie.  Three’s have nothing on the twos.  But despite his antics of defiance and button pushin’, he is a great kid.  He is growing faster than fast and is such a social butterfly.  In becoming a big brother, he is more independent and a little more curious about the world.  Such a quick learner and patient teacher. 

At two months, after the newness has settled and in and everyone has settled down, real life kicks in.  Mommy returns to work, daddy tackles beer dinners once again and Max is immersed in his social life.  Bowan is constantly growing and changing.  He is almost 14lbs and 22 inches.  His three shots were not watched by brother and mommy because it made us too sad to see him upset.  Daddy was the brave one. 

How quickly the three months flew by.  Summer is almost over and the real preschool session starts.  Max is constantly jumping off beds, running and yelling, chanting pirate tunes or screaming Tarzan calls.  Or he is fighting bears……We have already bought is Spiderman Halloween costume and restocked his undie drawer full of Super hero themed gear. He is all boy.

Baby B is holding his head up strong, drooling, cooing, giggling and smiling.  He is such a gentle, soft little man. He isn’t sleeping as much during the day but when he is awake, he is content.  I think he is in complete awe of his brother and loves to just sit and watch him. 

Daddy and I, after several months, had our first date day.  While the kiddos slept, we ate and drank freely.  It was nice to come home , just in time for dinner and bedtime.  These boys, as they grow each day, are our shining stars!

Silver Linings

Yesterday was a rough day that I am glad and honestly, surprised that I got through.  I hit my low and realized just how much pressure I was putting on myself.  I cannot be the perfect mom, wife, doggie owner, photographer, sister, friend, daughter, etc.  What I am forcing myself to be is just good enough for my family. And it has become a trial and error kind of process.

And today, I shook away the tears and frustrations and promised myself that TODAY WILL BE A GOOD DAY! 

I will read and re-read the adorable Valentines books that I got Max from the library and we will make Valentines crafts with his big paws because reading about love with the one that I love the most, is my favorite past time.

I will giggle at the stronger jabs and kicks, hunger pains and my growing belly as my baby Bowen (or Bowan, still haven't made that choice yet) grows bigger and bigger.  He is as big as a spagnhetti squash and comparable to Max, he isn't as active.  We did have a bit of a scare a few weeks ago when we went to our 20 week appointment.  There were some issues with the imaging of his heart, stomach and brain, but after confirmations from several doctors, they confirmed that Baby B is healthy and fine.  I am just worried about the short amount of time left until his arrival.  At 22 weeks, time has flown by thus far and I know it'll only speed up from here.

I will not cringe at this photo.

 

I will admire it and be proud. (But I will have anxiety over the mess in the background)

I will be kissing this belly A LOT!  He thinks Baby Bo is in his belly and will "feed" him when he is hungry and will shush us when Baby Bo is "sleeping".  Very thoughtful to his Baby Brother.

I will love this man even more than I do and will cherish every moment of our day and date night.

Oh and I will eat all day long.  Because it is the Superbowl, because I am hungry and because today is a GREAT day.